Start Talking

I haven't written in awhile. Mostly, because unlike most artists, writers and creative types, I don't always thrive with rich and full creative juice when I am down and out or just plain tired. I guess another reason might be because may be only a dozen people actually read this and then when you hardly ever post you lose even more readers. So, although, I have never really written for my readers (more of a cathartic process for me to revisit after publishing), when you come to the realization that you are reading your blog more than anyone else, checking to see if it is updated more than anyone else, and still not writing anything. You have to ask yourself why you still maintain it? Or, better yet, do you have anything to say?

I do. A lot actually. So begins my new blogging step. I plan to be more consistent on this site. I plan to write more frequently. No, not daily. And, no, still not like an online diary of daily crap. And, no, still not some literary piece of brilliance (misspellings and bad grammar and poor punctuation and run ons stay!). It just means I plan to put more stuff out there. Maybe some fiction, pieces from plays I wrote in my younger days, poems even (although so bad they are good), and of course personal stories in metaphor style, and some of my crazy dreams (since I tend to have plenty of them).

So, I begin with this quick quote that rings so true of mine and other's recent situations as we continue to mature.

"Never allow yourself to make someone a priority while allowing them to make you an option"

Now, as Linda Richmond would say..."Talk amongst yourselves."

4am Escape

The Sweet Escape hasn't been so sweet. More bittersweet. It seems I can't escape myself when I need it the most.

My travels have been eye opening, fun-filled, exhausting, challenging, cumbersome, worthwhile, and joyful. But, in all of this I wished I could escape my mind and the anxiety that plagues me.

My travels did not begin last week, or even two months ago. They began years ago. Some of the same roads have been traveled. Some of the same places have been visited. All the new and "first-times" have been parts of my journey of self discovery.

I am not myself these days. I am trying to change. Sometimes, it can't be forced. Other times it was never meant to change.

I deserve to escape. Escape the thoughts and fears that hold me back. Only then, when I break free, will I be open to the changes that surround me. Or at least the possibilities for change that stare me down.

I'd give you everything that I am
I'm handin over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a real true love
Don't ever wanna have to go and give you up
Stay up till four in the morning And the tears are pouring
And I wanna make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time
Baby if we're gonna do it come and do it right