4am Escape

The Sweet Escape hasn't been so sweet. More bittersweet. It seems I can't escape myself when I need it the most.

My travels have been eye opening, fun-filled, exhausting, challenging, cumbersome, worthwhile, and joyful. But, in all of this I wished I could escape my mind and the anxiety that plagues me.

My travels did not begin last week, or even two months ago. They began years ago. Some of the same roads have been traveled. Some of the same places have been visited. All the new and "first-times" have been parts of my journey of self discovery.

I am not myself these days. I am trying to change. Sometimes, it can't be forced. Other times it was never meant to change.

I deserve to escape. Escape the thoughts and fears that hold me back. Only then, when I break free, will I be open to the changes that surround me. Or at least the possibilities for change that stare me down.

I'd give you everything that I am
I'm handin over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a real true love
Don't ever wanna have to go and give you up
Stay up till four in the morning And the tears are pouring
And I wanna make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time
Baby if we're gonna do it come and do it right