A Mind's Eye

He rolls his eyes and she closes her's.

She listens to her mind and all the the things it would say if she could open her mouth. If she could get her muscles to work properly to form the words. But, she can't. Her lips stay glued together. Curled into one another.

Her mind screams.....hoping to be heard by him. By anyone. By everyone she curls her lips around.

Her mind....
"why do you roll your eyes? do you take anything I say seriously? why is it always good time charlie with you? life has to be hard for you and no one else. you can't stand on solid ground when things turn for other people. if I am happy you can have me. if I am not you can't stand me. stop telling me to get over it. you don't recognize my world and how it is turning around. i can't always be who you think I should. i can't always do what you think I should. do you miss me? you only miss me when you need me? you want me lukewarm. you don't want me hot and bothered. you don't want me cool and collected. my coolness is misread as confidence which you lack and therefore resent that I have. my hot and botheredness is interpreted as drama which you languish in your own pool of therefore there is no room for me. you don't want to hear about me. it's like you choose what you care to listen to and then pick it out of me. i bend without breaking. i smile without shaking. i pick up the phone. i show up when asked. i stifle my emotions. i truck along. i jump ship and join you in the water. i go through the motions. the motions of our friendship, our relationship, my job, my life, my family. i blame myself. i am responsible for the position i have put myself in. i made myself the person people expect to see. if i am not that person then things feel/look foreign. what if i told you to get over it. what if i rolled my eyes. what if i called you dramatic, arrogant, lazy, fat, skinny, ugly, pathetic, all the things i think in a split second but go away just as fast. because i love you. because i know you have to be a little pathetic to be a lot of precious. you need the arrogance to teach you to be humble. you need to be lazy to find the strength to pull yourself up by the bootstraps. be there for me or not. but just know that i won't use this against you. i won't change how i hear you or see you or feel you. even when you do those things to me. even when you become lukewarm about my life when i wanted you to be hot and bothered or cool and collected..."

She open's her eyes, uncurls her lips, feigns a smile, and says...
"Yah, you're right. Whatever."
He has no idea what she is thinking. He has no idea she caught him rolling his eyes. He has no idea of the tornado of emotions blowing through her turbulent life. She has no idea that he doesn't know how to handle her. She has no idea that he will be there even when he rolls his eyes. They can't see with their mind's eye what only the other's mind's eye can see.

NOTE: Don't ask who or if this is about anyone. It's a perspective piece about perspective.